You sick? You want healing? You want Happy Ending? That 20 dolla extra.Arizona attorneys say an Arizona pastor should be barred from the massage business after authorities reportedly discovered that he was running a house of prostitution under the guise of a church.
The ultimate racket… combing the two of the three oldest professions and cutting your overhead. Brilliant.
According to the Arizona Daily Star, Pastor John LaVoie of the Church of Liberty in Tucson, Ariz., ran a day-spa where he claims his female "angel" staff was merely “laying hands” — a traditional Christian healing practice — on patrons.
I think it’s more like “laying with your hands”. Also known as “shaking hands with Mr. Happy”, “the freshman fist fluff”, and if there are two guys and only one girl “skiing”.
But authorities say that employees at the Angel’s Heaven Relaxation Spa were hardly doing holy work and were instead selling sex, the Star reported.
If you’re screaming “oh God!” it’s kind of like religion, right?
In July, a jury found against LaVoie on 22 counts of racketeering, money-laundering and other offenses related to prostitution in a civil forfeiture.
YEAH! I support the separation of church and prostate.
The final court order from the Arizona Attorney General would call for LaVoie to forfeit $2 million in cash and real estate, and permanently bar him from the massage business, the Star reported.
Two million bucks from sex?!?! Damn! That’s a lot of KY Jelly right there!
But LaVoie is fighting the charges by citing his constitutional guarantees freedom of religion.
Sorry there padre… Freedom of Religion stops when you have a credit card machine within three feet of mung rag and a trash can full of used condoms.
LaVoie also avoided criminal charges after a Tucson police detective compromised the investigation when he confessed to having sex with one of LaVoie’s angels in 2004, the Star said.
Hey, he was deep cover! Not as deep as either he or the prostitute wanted, but deep enough. Suffice to say that the police were satisfied.
State officials are awaiting word from the judge to move forward.
Hey, she screwed a cop for money… what more does the judge need to go on?!?! If it’s a conflict of interest that he’s worried about, there is precedent… Congress is screwing us for money right now.
“We are hoping that the judge signs the order as soon as possible so that we can begin with eviction proceedings,” an Attorney General spokeswoman told the Star.
Next on The Sniper, “The Homeless Hookers of Heaven”
Feel free to peruse some of his “Heaven’s Angels” here. Oh and pay particular attention to this one… because she looks a LOT like BtFMC. And do yourself a favor and read the whole story linked at the Arizona Star above. Fuuuuunny.
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6 comments:
Name: Delicate Angel ™
Height: 5' 5"
Weight: 115 lbs.
Hair Color: Light Brown
Eye Color: Blue
Description of her beauty and personality: I'm Innocent and Very Sweet, Yet Mischievous and Curious. I Love to Laugh and Really Enjoy Entertaining. My Sparkling Eyes, Charming Nature and Heavenly Touch Will Take Your Breath Away and Your Body, Mind, Spirit and Soul to the Heavens. Come See Me Now and Let Me Touch Your Heart.
My heart? Why the hell would I have you touch my heart? Jeesh, I can do that.
She meant "heart-on". Her Engrish not so gool.
You caught me sniper. This is how I paid for grad school, don't you know.
And you wonder why my wife wouldn't have been too keen on a "Sniper and BtFMC drinking binge" with the associated and unsupervised "drunken hotel flop".
Hey that angel really does look like you Bridget, except you are 5'9". On a side note it was good to see you out and about the other night. Your wit never ceases to amaze me. The red hair doesn't hurt either! Now that I know you are an angel that just upped the ante! Keep in touch.
I dunno. she looks a litle "coy" to me. Not exactly a word I'd use to describe myself. And yeah, I need to start coming out more often lest I become a hermit like some of my co-bloggers. oh- and the red has temporarily gone brown. But its a rinse, so the red will be back in no time!
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